Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
