Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
