Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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