if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
