So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
