Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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