how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
