I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
