Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
