my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
