you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
