i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
