No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
