Non-Jews are for practice
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You're a waste of cheezeits
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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