If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
