If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
