what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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