Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
