you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
