on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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