He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
