I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
