Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
