Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's shark week go big or go home
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
