yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
