im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
