Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
