Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
