he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
