Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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