it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
