just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
