She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
