Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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