I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
