don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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