Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just high enough for therapy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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