so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
