Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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