I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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