Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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