you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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