Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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