Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
