Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
one two three fourrrrnication!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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