I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You took a bar mat shot.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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