nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
