i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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