just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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