I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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