at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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