maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
