Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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