omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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