i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
